I Will Follow You Into the Dark
by Pretty Words
Summary: Just a short oneshot after Darkest Hour kind of a songfic...


Alright, so this is just an idea that I've been toying with since July, but I didn't know how to write it, and now I _think _I've got it. But there's always room for improvement...anyways, please read and review. Thanks!

Oh, and this is probably only going to be a one-shot.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Meg Cabot and the Lyrics belong to Death Cab For Cutie

I am without a doubt, my own downfall.

I played that song, the night we came home. **_The_** night. As in the night that I brought Jesse back from that creepy, foggy hallway. Heaven (and hell's) waiting room. Purgatory. I played the song "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Not on purpose, by any means. I was so tired when we got home that I just kicked off my shoes, pressed Play on my CD player and crawled into bed. It wasn't until I was nearly asleep that I heard the soft strumming of the opening chords, and that soft voice sing that fateful line: "Love of mine, someday you will die. But I'll be close behind; I'll follow you into the dark."

From my spot in my bed I froze, suddenly wide awake and more than aware of Jesse still sitting on my window seat stroking that God forsaken cat. I lay there feigning sleep until the song was over but I'm sure I gave myself away, my cheeks felt like they were on fire and my breath came fast and unsteady, mirroring my heartbeat. And that stupid, stupid song seemed to go on forever.

Of all the nights to play this song. Someone upstairs had it in for me...I bet it was that gladiator...I probably shouldn't have tried to joke with him. Finally, **finally **the song reached the last lines: "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark. I will follow you into the dark."

I could hear Jesse laughing quietly from across the room and then he said "Goodnight Querida."

I cringed, seriously. I mean, here I was trying to keep him from knowing how I really felt and going through all the trouble of trying to sound indifferent when we were up in that...place, and not letting on that I had more than willingly died just to bring him back. And then I come home and play this song, whether I meant to or not.

I was toast.

Seriously.

But then when I woke up a good thirty-six hours later, something absolutely amazing happened...

_**"Fine," he said. He reached up and cupped my face in both hands. "We don't have to talk."**_

_**And that's when he kissed me.**_

_**On the lips.**_

Unfortunately my happiness only lasted a second or so before David came bursting in. And He disappeared. Jesse, I mean. And he hasn't been back. It's been more than a week, a full eight days in fact. That's an agonizing 192 hours. A miserable 11,520 minutes. 691,200 seconds of hell for just one second of heavenly bliss.

Not that I laid around moping or anything...no matter how much I wanted to. No, I had a job which I had graciously been reprieved of for the past four days. The day after that all-too-short, sense-shattering kiss, I returned to work and baby-sat twin 4 year-old brats. After my seventh day of this torture I come home and there he was, sitting on the window seat absorbed in "A Farewell to Arms" by Hemingway as if nothing had happened.

I stood in my doorway for what felt like an eternity, my eyes bugging out of my head by his sudden appearance, until he noticed me. He looked up and stared at me for a solid minute before saying hello, and promptly returning to his book. That was it. He kisses me and all he has to say is "Hello".

Maybe that kiss...maybe it was just kind of like a "thank-you for bringing me back" kind of thing. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe his feelings for me really are purely platonic. But then how could he be so cruel? He has to know how I feel about him! I mean, there was the whole dying-to-bring-him-back thing AND the horrid "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" incident. How can he not know? So was he toying with me? Playing with my emotions?

I sighed; I was giving myself a headache obsessing over it. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a change of clothes (What? He may not love me but I still don't fancy the idea of walking around in pleated khaki's that make my butt look roughly the size of Montana.). After changing (in my bathroom, of course) I collapsed on my bed, and closed my eyes. Jesse was still there, on my window seat, reading...and paying no attention to me.

So this is how it's going to be from now on.

Sitting up and sneaking one last, longing glance at the lovely Latino on my window seat, I grabbed my latest issue of Cosmo. Just because the love of my life won't give me a second glance, doesn't mean I can't live vicariously through someone else...

Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the "NO"s on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
And I held my tongue as she told me

"Son, fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the "NO"s on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
Cause we'll hold each other soon  
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the "NO"s on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I will follow you into the dark


End file.
